Dear Bo,

Because it is your birthday and your biscuit-cake is oh so mightily delicious, I have successfully lured Joe into an outhouse filled with kittens so he can be distracted while practicing his debate talking points. He may or may not also be covered in catnip.

Love,
Your brother Cappy.

“Hey, Tall Guy. You’ll keep reading to me and Sasha and Malia forever, right? And even Joey if he does his homework, right?”

“Come on, Joe. Hurry up and bail Bo out of this Italian Food Jail before the press gets here!”

“But Barry! I wanna try their ravioli!”

“Bo, get off Joe! He’s not really the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man!”

“Mr President, I told you not to push the ‘extreme’ button.”